December in pictures, and 2013 (briefly) in review

A little lighter on the pictures in December, but still focused on things that are me: food, dogs, jewellery, teal.

donkeys in the snow // milk chocolate pineapple and black pepper bar // the historic Distillery District // spicy Mayan hot chocolate // Sven the 120-lb 9-month-old Bernese Mountain puppy // jewellery cleanup // aqua Kitchenaid stand mixer, I want it but have no need for it // New York Times 36-hour cookie dough // Shake Shack frozen custard with chocolate toffee

Again in 2013, my blog and my Instagram continues to serve the purpose of keeping track of what I’ve done in the past year, because without it, I wouldn’t remember anything.

It’s a bit alarming that every year my memory becomes more and more like a sieve, I do keep the big bits (I haven’t forgotten that my sister had major surgery this year and that was a big deal), but some of the big bits I probably should have retained almost slipped through. Like the fact I spent a week’s vacation in BC in August. Will’s sister got married that week, that’s something I should be able to easily remember, from not that long ago. But apparently not. I fear early-onset Alzheimer’s.

According to my blog and my Instagram, this is what I did this year:

• Travelled a lot (by my standards). Boston, Boston again, Ottawa, Parksville and Vancouver, cottage in Muskoka, Iceland, London, Copenhagen, Ottawa again, and Boston again for Christmas (just back on Sunday night).
• Ate a lot. I even devoted an entire post to what I ate in Europe. What can I say, I love food.
• While eating a lot, managed to keep myself in my current clothes by walking and working out more. I bemoaned by fitness commitment issues (I really hate working out), but I found barre3 and realized that finding something I like is more than half the battle.
• Didn’t keep very good track of my shopping. I think I bought some knit dresses, more jewellery, easy basics, and multiples (of knit dresses and basics like sweaters and T-shirts).
• Took all of my outfit photos by iPhone. There might be one or two in there taken by someone else, but I relied on the iPhone all year to snap quick pics before running out the door.
• Took a lot of photos from my balcony. Here are some more!

This was after the great ice storm of 2013 that hit Toronto, when the drizzle cleared up and the sun came out. It was so beautiful, Will and I had to go out and take more pictures around the neighbourhood.

The sunset hitting the icy trees was beautiful, far better than my iPhone could capture.

I’m ending 2013 with a nasty chest cold/bronchitis, so there’s no partying for me tonight (not that I do a lot of that when I’m healthy anyway). I’m thinking dinner and a movie on the couch, after I get home from seeing the matinee show of Les Miserables this afternoon (I bought my ticket a few weeks ago, I’m dragging myself out to that).

Hope everyone has a great (and safe) New Year’s Eve, thanks for reading in 2013, and see you in 2014!

2012: pretty good year

One thing I truly love about blogging (aside from "meeting" new people and, of course, being able to unabashedly indulge in my own vanity) is being able to keep track of what I've done. Although what I put online is only a very small part of my life, it's still great to be able to look back on old posts and go "oh yeah, that's what I did in March!" and "oh yeah, that's what I wore when I was doing that!"

This was my 2012:

• I changed jobs at work, sort of against my will, and I was crushed when my previous boss (whom I loved working for) was laid off after 17 years with the company.
• I spent a few months of year taking care of myself really well, and the rest of the time kinda not caring that much.
• I spent a lot of time eating. If I wasn’t eating, I was thinking about food.
• I wore a lot of teal.
• I took a lot of pictures and became a little obsessed with PicFrame. With the much better camera on my new iPhone 5, I don’t think that’s going to change.

stupidly picturesque at the Distillery District

• I didn’t quite accomplish my resolution to buy only one item per month, but I definitely shopped less and more mindfully. To be continued in 2013.
• In the same vein, I shopped much less at Anthropologie because I just didn’t like what they were offering this year. And if I don’t like it, I don’t buy it. (Or I like it at first, then change my mind and return it. Happened with a few things.)
• I gave in and bought one of those knock-off J.Crew necklaces, and wore it a lot. And then some more.

 

I’m not sure this was a very life-changing year for me, but it was still a pretty good year. The perfectionist in me thinks that I could have done better, but the part of me that’s learning to relax and just live is happy with how things turned out. I spent the year having fun, doing things that make me happy, and in the company of friends and family I love, so how can I complain.

Predictably, Will and I are celebrating New Year’s Eve at home, with a good meal (prime rib roast, yum!) and a movie. And as usual, I’d like to wish everyone a Happy New Year, all the best in 2013, and thanks for reading!

xo
Rachel

Best of 2012: outfits

This year, I didn't blog quite as much as I have in previous years. I didn't do a 30 for 30, and I didn't shop as much, which meant fewer new outfits to photograph. And obviously, more repeats. But I always find these retrospectives fun, to remember what I wore and even what was happening while I was wearing them.

Also, nothing particularly trendy in any of these photos, just pieces I love, and pieces I’ve worn for many years.

January	February
March	April
May	June
July	August
September	October
November	December

”I know this obsession with thinness is unhealthy and antifeminist…but that’s what a fat girl would say!”

Lisa is my least favourite Simpson, but every once in a while she says something that hits the nail on the head. (See the link for a video clip.)

I hate obsessing about my weight, but I do. I have a fatphobic mom who once told the daughter of a family friend that she would be so pretty if she lost weight (to her face!), a sister who works out like crazy, and a brother and sister-in-law who have gone vegan to lose weight (although they quickly backtracked and said it was actually for health reasons). I know I’m not fat, but I’m not skinny either; my BMI tells me I’m overweight, and I often think that a size 6-8 is too big for someone who’s only five-foot-two who should really look more like Natalie Portman or Rachel Bilson or Carey Mulligan. I’m so jealous of anyone who has reached a state of complete body acceptance—seriously, what’s that like?—and I wish I liked vegetables and working out more.

The first five-and-a-half months of 2012 have been a rollercoaster: yo-yoing weight and alternating feelings of euphoria (I fit in this skirt again!) and depression (I’m the fat one in the family!), overeating and skipping meals and then eating healthily again. Taking outfit photos helped my vanity, because I could look at them and think, huh, not too bad.

Anthro Boreal Blear Tee (Weston Wear) | Jacob pencil skirt | Miss Sixty Tracy shoes

But then I’d also think, not bad, but not that skinny. That would look better if my arms weren’t so chubby. And maybe it’s just an illusion. I know how to stand in my corner, but maybe out in the real world I don’t look like that. I mean, I look bigger here (in one of the very few outdoor pics I’ve taken), and that was less than a week ago, so maybe that’s how I really look. Mirrors lie, cameras lie, what’s the real truth?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because I’ll be turning 34 on Tuesday and I realized that I’ve spent the better part of 20 years being conscious of my multiple body issues, and wow, is that ever depressing. I wish I could just flip a switch and turn it all off, but it’s not that easy. Just ask a good friend of mine who has lost almost 80 lbs in the past 7 months, she is still too self-conscious to go sleeveless and she has said several times that even when she’s skinny she’ll still be a fat girl inside.

So it’s a constant struggle…but check back with me in another 20 years and maybe I’ll be doing better.

Fill in the blank…Wednesday?

I’m so late with last week’s Fill In the Blank Friday. Last Friday I was busy getting a pedicure and packing for my weekend in Ottawa, then I was in Ottawa over the weekend (obviously), and then straight back to work and so exhausted I couldn’t think straight Monday evening, then stressing about possible layoffs at work, then trying to stop stressing because it’s not like that’s going to change what’s going to happen, and now I have free time again. It’s a blank I wanted to fill in, so I’ll subscribe to the old cliché of better late than never.

I blog because…

• I can fully indulge in my love of “frivolous” things, while compartmentalizing it from the rest of my life.
• I can share these interests with other like-minded people.
• It’s something completely different from what I do at work all day.
• I like to write, and at work I write about boring things like processes and policies, so it’s a place where I can write about things I like.
• I can be snarky and irreverent and sometimes maybe a little bit more serious.
• It’s a creative outlet for me.
• It’s a scrapbook of sorts, where I can keep track of what I wear, and what my life was like at that particular point in time.
• Even though not many people might be reading what I write, I like the idea of writing to someone, and that forces me to think and write, which I wouldn’t do consistently if I were just writing a personal diary.
• And if I’m completely honest, it’s because I’m just a little bit vain (or maybe more than a little bit), and I like posting pictures of myself where I look good. On days when I’m not feeling so good about myself, it makes me feel better.

Anthro Claudine Tee (RicRac) | Anthro Anadyomene Cardigan (Rosie Neira) | turquoise necklace made by me | Jacob pencil skirt | Miss Sixty Tracy heels

So that was 2011

Yesterday when we were leaving at 11:30a.m. (hooray for leaving early on a Friday before a long weekend), my coworker said, “Only one more day to go in 2011! From January 1, this year was just crap.” I looked at him and asked, “Didn’t you get married in January?” He backtracked and said “Well, there were some definite high points, but on a whole, 2011 sucked.”

When I look back on 2011, I see the opposite. 2011 was fantastic, with a few low points. Especially compared to 2010, this was a freaking awesome year.

The low points first:

• The first three months of the year at my previous job, they were some of the most horrible months in my working career. When I look back now, I can see that this job was causing me so much stress I got sick from it.
• Losing my job (well, not technically, my contract ended, but there was always the option to renew it) just when we’d bought our condo.
• Still some family drama that caused me a lot of stress in November.
• Weight gain – not much, but enough to notice. Too much damn ice cream.
• A few too many shopping mistakes and regrets, and a bit too much shopping as a whole. My usual goal of shopping more consciously and responsibly didn’t exactly pan out.

Now all the good stuff:

• Becoming a homeowner for the first time. Will and I closed on our uptown Toronto condo on February 9, and it’s been great since. We love our place, no regrets.
• Being on vacation for 6 weeks when I was unemployed. I didn’t think it was a such a good thing at first, but in the end, it was what I needed. I was able to “detox” from my old job, relax, and get my health back in order. What have I said about crisitunity? I did wear an awful lot of elastic waistbands though.
• Getting my new job in the same company. It’s been amazing. Of course, there are still days when I don’t want to go to work, but those days are few and far between. My boss is great, my coworkers are great, and I’m very happy. As much as I said in my previous job that “it’s just a job,” I spend most of my waking hours at work, so if it sucks, it’ll inevitably spill over into the rest of my life.
• Feeling better again. I spent most of 2010 with health problems, but I’ve been much, much better this year. If I make it through today, I’ll have made it through 2011 without ending up in the hospital with an asthma attack (my last bad attack was June 2010). It doesn’t sound like that much of an accomplishment, but I was hospitalized twice in 2010. Small victories are still victories.
• Going to NYC for the first time in 5 years. It was nice to be back after a long break.
• As usual, spending great time with family and friends. Will and I have been together for 12-1/2 years and still going strong, even if he does hate sharing a bed with me after sleeping in his own bed for almost two weeks at his parents’ house in BC. :)

Like most people, I spend too much time dwelling on the negative. I think things like “yes, I have a good job, but it’s still an entry-level job.” “Yes, I’m a homeowner, but it’s just a tiny condo.” I’m tired of the buts. So I think my overall goal for 2012 is to focus on the positive and leave those nagging tiresome buts behind. Let’s see if I stick to that!

Will and I are planning to spend New Year’s Eve pretty much the same as we did last year, a nice dinner at home and then out to the movies (we’ll probably see Tintin). So I’d like to wish everyone a Happy New Year, all the best in 2012, and thanks for reading my little blog!

xo
Rachel