Congratulations to Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir, the first Canadian and North American Olympic gold medallists (and the youngest) in ice dancing:
What a gorgeous dress too.
I feel like my parents’ Basset Hound after she knows she did something wrong and she’s going to be yelled at.
This photo is from three years ago when she was a puppy, but she still gets that look.
What I did wrong: I broke my shopping diet yesterday.
I only made it 13 days (12 days in February, 1 day in January) and I’m so mad at myself. Sure, it’s been 14 days, that’s a lot longer than I’ve done in the past, but it’s only 13 days. I do feel like a complete failure.
I don’t want anyone to yell at me, but maybe that’s what I need. My boyfriend didn’t yell at me. He understands that I was completely crushed after finding out that I didn’t get a job I really wanted (and only found out from a friend who works at the company that someone else was hired) and it was either go shopping or sit and eat an entire container of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, which would have made me very very sick (but it would have been cheaper!). I can say I had just cause, but did I? So I really wanted this job. But I still have a job, and a job that pays well at that. 900 people were laid off at my company in December. I shouldn’t complain. I should be grateful for what I have.
So, I’ll try to remember to count my blessings, and I’ll try to take the good from the past 13 days and learn from the bad. For one, I’ve learned that setting out to not shop doesn’t work; that’s something I should have known from past experience. But I’m not giving up. I don’t know where to go from here, but I’ll figure it out.
I love Anthropologie, but my love is not blind.
Is it a wedge? Is it a bootie? What is it? I think they’re hideous and would never wear them, especially for $188.
But even worse than shoes are these pants:
Yes, please, I want my crotch to be two feet long. Apparently these “jersey harem pants” are big in Europe. I love all things European, but for once, thank God I live in North America.
You know that friend you have? The girl who seems to have it all figured out? She’s got the great job, the great guy, the great life. Well, I’m not that girl.Like Erica at the beginning of the series, I have a Master’s degree that hasn’t gotten me anywhere. Like Erica, I have a family that has high expectations that I feel I’m never living up to, but unlike Erica, I’ve never yelled “I am suffocating under the collective weight of your disapproval!” at them. I wish I’d done some things differently. But unlike Erica, I don’t want to go back to these moments. I made the conscious choice a while ago not to have any regrets; I am who I am because what has happened to me, and there’s no chance for me to go back in time and change any events, I can only move forward.
I know people wonder why the cute girl with the great education and the great friends can’t get it together. There’s a simple answer: bad decisions. I could teach a course on messing up your life; really, I am that good at getting everything wrong.
Okay, okay, so I know it’s my fault my life is where it’s at, but I figure I gotta catch a break some time, right?
It’s Day 4 if I’m counting January 31, when I didn’t buy anything. But really, who’s counting? (Oh dear God, when will this month be over?)
I was bored/frustrated at work this morning so I was shopping online at anthropologie.com. This skirt nearly broke my resolve. I’ve had my eye on it for a while, and now it’s on sale for $79, down from $178. So in my twisted mind, I think, ooh, I’ll order it online when February is over! So I have to go over to Anthropologie on my lunch break to try it on in person! Just so I know what size to buy! (What am I, a complete and utter moron? The answer is, of course, yes.)
The skirt was also on sale in store (cheaper than online with the exchange rate and shipping costs), in my size, and I was this close to walking out of the dressing room with it. But in the end, I put it down, put my own skirt back on, and hightailed it out of the store.
I didn’t cheat because I told myself I don’t need the skirt. I don’t. I don’t need any new clothes. I want that skirt because it’s so cute on the model and because it’s different from anything else I usually wear. But I would probably wear it once and then it would sit in my closet, waiting for another party where it would be appropriate, when something else would have already come along to replace it. If I had bought that skirt, I would have been buying “the fantasy of momentary reinvention". I want (or I think I want, I’m not entirely sure yet) to be that girl who has a ton of parties to go to, or who is just so stylish and works in such a creative environment that she could wear a “fancy” skirt like that to work. But I’m not.
I might buy the skirt when my self-imposed month-long rehab is over. I just want to know that I can exercise some willpower and delay gratification. Or maybe I won’t buy it. Maybe I’ll have learned to shop for the life I actually live. Maybe I won’t want to shop at all? We’ll see.