Happy Long Weekend, Canadians!

Happiness is a three-day weekend, especially a lazy one with no plans, and gorgeous weather that makes gelato a foregone conclusion. Much-needed and much-appreciated, after the tough week I had.

My birthday week ended last Saturday with pizza and ice cream with Will (albeit fancy pizza and Skor gelato), but I had one last birthday treat left, my Anthropologie birthday discount. I’ve been pretty disappointed with Anthropologie lately, and on my most recent trip only two things caught my eye.

 
Left: Bailey 44 Cap Sleeve Column Dress
Right: Girls From Savoy Apiary Tank

While I love Bailey 44 and I love the pink and grey stripes, I didn’t like the high neckline and the cap sleeves, and I wasn’t willing to pay C$218 for a knit jersey dress, even with 15% off, so I went with the Apiary Tank. So far it’s been all Anthro tops for me this year, I haven’t fallen for any dresses or skirts yet. Having said that, I’ll probably see a dozen Anthro dresses/skirts I’ll love in the next few months.

Anthro Apiary top (Girls From Savoy) | Banana Republic Sateen Pencil Skirt | Tory Burch Reva flats

The Anthro top and the Banana Republic skirt (bought online with a 30% off promo code) were my two purchases for June. We won’t count the Gap dress that I took home without trying on because I was too lazy to wait in line for the changing rooms, and then promptly took back because it was not flattering on me. Yeah…that didn’t happen!

My heart is like the ocean, it gets in the way.

Embellished Room Dress | Hilary Druxman necklace | Puma Rudolf Dassler ballet flats

This week has been another rollercoaster, emotionally speaking. There was another big round of layoffs at work, and it’s set everyone on edge, including me. I’ve survived another round, and this time it wasn’t so bad, but it doesn’t leave a good environment. So some of us are still here…what happens next time? 

A co-worker who has been with company for 14 years says there’s no point in getting upset about things, it doesn’t make it better. Things like this are completely beyond our control. But of course I freak out, because that’s just me, and I haven’t quite learned to let things go when I should. Maybe one day I’ll learn how to do that.

In the meantime, I’ll just wear a bright, colourful, summery (and cheap!) dress that I last wore two years ago, and hope that it looks like everything is ok on the outside, at least.

it’s still Birthday Week

Having a birthday on a weekday is awesome. Even if I didn’t take the day off (saving my vacation for later in the year). It meant I could slack off (only a little) at work, take a longer lunch break, and sneak off 10 minutes early, and nobody batted an eye. Also, I could celebrate the weekend before (with gluten-free cupcakes and gelato), celebrate during the week (lunch with a friend/coworker yesterday and drinks with coworkers after work) and I still have my birthday dinner with Will on Saturday.

But the days since my actual birthday have been a little bit odd. On Tuesday, my email, Facebook, BBM, and phone have never been busier. Then silence. It’s one day of excessive popularity and then 364 days of absolute quiet!

Anthro Torsade Tee (C.Keer) | Hilary Druxman necklace | Banana Republic Sateen Pencil Skirt | Tory Burch Reva flats

It’s been hot and sticky the past few days, so my hair has been huge and I’ve been feeling slightly dishevelled, but I’m not complaining. I love a white skirt when it’s really hot out. I was inspired to do a white/grey/silver outfit from this photo I pinned a few weeks ago:

source

I’m working on drawing inspiration from different kinds of photos, not just from outfit photos and not copying them so literally, so I hope this is a start.

Birthday!

I’ve started to think that birthdays lose their “magic” the older I get, but this birthday has been pretty awesome.

Anthro Fragmented Pipevine Dress (Maeve) | Hilary Druxman necklace | Miss Sixty Tracy shoes

A few things about this birthday:

• I asked my nephew to guess my age and he said “ummm, 18?” He gets extra chocolate marshmallows for that.
• Facebook birthday wishes.
• Vietnamese for lunch.
• New earphones, so I no longer have to use the terrible standard-issue iPhone ones.
• An e-reader!
• Gelato after work.
• And the fact that I’ll look 25 for many birthdays to come.

”I know this obsession with thinness is unhealthy and antifeminist…but that’s what a fat girl would say!”

Lisa is my least favourite Simpson, but every once in a while she says something that hits the nail on the head. (See the link for a video clip.)

I hate obsessing about my weight, but I do. I have a fatphobic mom who once told the daughter of a family friend that she would be so pretty if she lost weight (to her face!), a sister who works out like crazy, and a brother and sister-in-law who have gone vegan to lose weight (although they quickly backtracked and said it was actually for health reasons). I know I’m not fat, but I’m not skinny either; my BMI tells me I’m overweight, and I often think that a size 6-8 is too big for someone who’s only five-foot-two who should really look more like Natalie Portman or Rachel Bilson or Carey Mulligan. I’m so jealous of anyone who has reached a state of complete body acceptance—seriously, what’s that like?—and I wish I liked vegetables and working out more.

The first five-and-a-half months of 2012 have been a rollercoaster: yo-yoing weight and alternating feelings of euphoria (I fit in this skirt again!) and depression (I’m the fat one in the family!), overeating and skipping meals and then eating healthily again. Taking outfit photos helped my vanity, because I could look at them and think, huh, not too bad.

Anthro Boreal Blear Tee (Weston Wear) | Jacob pencil skirt | Miss Sixty Tracy shoes

But then I’d also think, not bad, but not that skinny. That would look better if my arms weren’t so chubby. And maybe it’s just an illusion. I know how to stand in my corner, but maybe out in the real world I don’t look like that. I mean, I look bigger here (in one of the very few outdoor pics I’ve taken), and that was less than a week ago, so maybe that’s how I really look. Mirrors lie, cameras lie, what’s the real truth?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because I’ll be turning 34 on Tuesday and I realized that I’ve spent the better part of 20 years being conscious of my multiple body issues, and wow, is that ever depressing. I wish I could just flip a switch and turn it all off, but it’s not that easy. Just ask a good friend of mine who has lost almost 80 lbs in the past 7 months, she is still too self-conscious to go sleeveless and she has said several times that even when she’s skinny she’ll still be a fat girl inside.

So it’s a constant struggle…but check back with me in another 20 years and maybe I’ll be doing better.

Taking inspiration

I’ve been following along with Kayla’s Open to Inspiration series, but as I think I’ve mentioned before, I’m terrible at drawing inspiration. If I like something, I want to copy it exactly.

But I really like today’s inspiration photo, so I thought I’d take a stab at it.

Anthropologie cardigan | Anthro A-Bit-Unruly Top (Deletta) | Anthro Circle the Globe Skirt | Tory Burch Reva flats

Coloured skirt, printed top, long cardigan. I don’t think it turned out too bad, and it was actually kinda fun using what I have in my closet to come up with my interpretation, instead of running of buying exactly the same pieces. I should try this again sometime.

Fill in the blank…Wednesday?

I’m so late with last week’s Fill In the Blank Friday. Last Friday I was busy getting a pedicure and packing for my weekend in Ottawa, then I was in Ottawa over the weekend (obviously), and then straight back to work and so exhausted I couldn’t think straight Monday evening, then stressing about possible layoffs at work, then trying to stop stressing because it’s not like that’s going to change what’s going to happen, and now I have free time again. It’s a blank I wanted to fill in, so I’ll subscribe to the old cliché of better late than never.

I blog because…

• I can fully indulge in my love of “frivolous” things, while compartmentalizing it from the rest of my life.
• I can share these interests with other like-minded people.
• It’s something completely different from what I do at work all day.
• I like to write, and at work I write about boring things like processes and policies, so it’s a place where I can write about things I like.
• I can be snarky and irreverent and sometimes maybe a little bit more serious.
• It’s a creative outlet for me.
• It’s a scrapbook of sorts, where I can keep track of what I wear, and what my life was like at that particular point in time.
• Even though not many people might be reading what I write, I like the idea of writing to someone, and that forces me to think and write, which I wouldn’t do consistently if I were just writing a personal diary.
• And if I’m completely honest, it’s because I’m just a little bit vain (or maybe more than a little bit), and I like posting pictures of myself where I look good. On days when I’m not feeling so good about myself, it makes me feel better.

Anthro Claudine Tee (RicRac) | Anthro Anadyomene Cardigan (Rosie Neira) | turquoise necklace made by me | Jacob pencil skirt | Miss Sixty Tracy heels

Whirlwind weekend

Will and I spent 36 hours in Ottawa for a wedding (even though the bride and groom live across the street from us), and now that I’m home and so tired I might face-plant into the keyboard, it may not have been the best idea to cram so much into one weekend. Wedding! Time with my nephew! Time in our favourite spots in Ottawa! Time with my family! I’m going to sleep as soon as I finish dinner.

Anne Hung Sasha Dress | ayala bar necklace | Club Monaco clutch | not pictured: Michael Kors heels

The wedding reception was at the Museum of Civilization. The view across the river to Parliament Hill makes it one of the prettiest spots in Ottawa.

Vegan cupcakes, with an awesome cake topper

Imposing background for the cake, but it was pretty cool.

I got up early the next morning to spend time with my nephew, which explains why I’m so tired right now.

My stylish nephew

Happy Basset Hound

Mmm…bbq chicken…

Who I dress for

I was walking back to work after lunch with some colleagues when we passed a girl wearing some pretty awful high-waisted khaki pants. Our collective first reaction was “OMG! Camel toe!” (poor girl). Then Mike made a comment about how a girl would only wear something like that for other women or gay men (i.e. man repeller?). This sparked a mini-discussion about who we dress for, and I argued that I dress for myself, not for anyone else.

Anthro Torsade Tee | Anthro Sedge & Rush Necklace | Jacob pencil skirt (from 2008) | Miss Sixty Tracy shoes

But then I wondered if that was true, and if I really dress for myself. Maybe I dress for other women. Maybe I dress in a way that I hope attracts the opposite sex. I don’t do it on purpose, I don’t dress every day simply for the purpose of getting compliments from people, men or women, but I wonder. It’s a question for further pondering.

Foot-in-mouth Monday

Anthro Tartlet Burst Top (Deletta) | Anthro Liquid Acres Skirt (Maeve) | Miss Sixty Tracy shoes

I have a good friend who is pregnant at 41, after going through the heartbreak of multiple miscarriages over the past few years. She and her husband had stopped trying, but I guess it's another instance of that old cliché "it happens when you stop trying" coming true. She was supposed to travel to Austria with her family this weekend, but her doctor has grounded her over complications with her pregnancy – nothing serious, but fear that it could become serious and that would be bad on a plane/in a foreign country. Good news is I'll see her at a wedding of a mutual friend in Ottawa this weekend. Bad news is I tried to message her "I'm sorry you had to cancel your trip because of complications with your pregnancy, hope it isn't serious" and it came out as "I'm sorry you had to cancel your pregnancy, hope it isn't serious."  OMG.

I blame Monday.

I apologized right away and luckily she laughed. I was seriously mortified though – still am. Careless quick typing could cost me a friendship!!!

Anthropologie catalogues: March, April, May, June 2012

I haven’t posted an Anthro catalogue since February, because I’ve been completely underwhelmed, both by the clothes and the photography. But here’s a quick catch-up.

March 2012 – I didn’t realize we were tying our tops at the front again. I did that in the early 90s.

kestrel earrings, forever hooked cardi, mirror-dotted maxi dress; anthurium necklace, boreal blear tee, esker maxi skirt, malmo shoulder bag

beetles by Thomas Eyck, $800 each

April 2012 – meh

henga shirtdress, sandoval cuff; terra deco crops, arched careena dress

ditte sofa, delwyn coffee table, rhys chair

fanned alloy necklace, dot-gleam dress – I do love white and turquoise…

hannako flats, microflora mary-janes, floriculture wedges

May 2012 – I do love her hair

rotary dial necklace, rusicada asymmetric top, cordial wide legs

altair tent (only $8,998 + $300 s/h), cordage settee, cordage armchair – don’t we all need a $9k tent?

crocheted perimeter scarf, fringed turquoise drops, ardastra maxi dress

komnene chandeliers, crimped alabaster blouse, pilcro denim roll-ups

arrow snake necklace, flared anabelle dress

oriel chandeliers, ostara mesh chemise, nodule sylph bracelet – I still love her hair

June 2012 – pimento necklace, parted paisley tank – it’s my birthday month, and I don’t want anything.

vivi bracelet, corchorus wedges

yuzu mary-janes, in sequence peep-toes; rosewash hobo, white nights bucket bag, mirada crossed slingbacks

catalina quilt, padrina pillow, reflected sky pillow, crawford queen bed

uniform bits necklace, hazed landscape tee, shimmered turnlock belt, pilcro stet slit crop

handpainted taika flats