Sigh.

I feel like my parents’ Basset Hound after she knows she did something wrong and she’s going to be yelled at.

This photo is from three years ago when she was a puppy, but she still gets that look.

What I did wrong: I broke my shopping diet yesterday. 

I only made it 13 days (12 days in February, 1 day in January) and I’m so mad at myself.  Sure, it’s been 14 days, that’s a lot longer than I’ve done in the past, but it’s only 13 days.  I do feel like a complete failure.

I don’t want anyone to yell at me, but maybe that’s what I need.  My boyfriend didn’t yell at me.  He understands that I was completely crushed after finding out that I didn’t get a job I really wanted (and only found out from a friend who works at the company that someone else was hired) and it was either go shopping or sit and eat an entire container of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, which would have made me very very sick (but it would have been cheaper!). I can say I had just cause, but did I?  So I really wanted this job.  But I still have a job, and a job that pays well at that.  900 people were laid off at my company in December.  I shouldn’t complain.  I should be grateful for what I have.

So, I’ll try to remember to count my blessings, and I’ll try to take the good from the past 13 days and learn from the bad.  For one, I’ve learned that setting out to not shop doesn’t work; that’s something I should have known from past experience.  But I’m not giving up.  I don’t know where to go from here, but I’ll figure it out.