The green-eyed monster.

So I started this, had a little blip of about 3 weeks where I didn’t post anything, then I’ve posted four entries in two days. Procrastination is something I struggle with. I do have the best of intentions; I did intend to keep this up regularly as a means of letting out my emotions through words rather than through my credit card.

And it did work for a little while, even when I wasn’t posting. I went through my closet, I looked at what I owned, realized I didn’t need anything, and stopped shopping, aside from some jewellery from J.Crew and Hanky Panky thongs when I was in Chicago.

But then I gave in and bought the iPhone. I don’t regret that in the least; I love it, and I have no idea how I lived without it, even though I’ve only had it for two weeks.

Then in the past week things got worse. I was pre-menstrual, which never helps, and then I started feeling inadequate about my job and my career. I’m stuck in a contract, dead-end job with seemingly no chance of advancement, but I don’t know what else to do, and it’s not like there’s much available right now anyway. Meanwhile other departments are getting re-organized and people are getting promoted. So what’d I do? What I always do: I ate, and I shopped. At times like this, I wish I did enjoy thrift shopping, because it’d be way cheaper.

I did buy some beautiful things, and truthfully, they did make me feel better about myself. But it doesn’t change how I feel about my job, it’s a temporary fix. What do I do next time?

More work ahead, obviously.

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